Talking to God

I've been killing a little time talking to God. Well, iGod to be specific. It's very entertaining. Here are some snippets of my conversations.

Me:   Who created the universe?
God: God.
Me:   Are you God?
God: Yes, I am God.
Me:   Did you create the universe?
God:  No I didn't  create the universe. What's  it like?

Me:   Are you male or female?
God: I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? Are you a man or a woman?
Me:    I am a woman.
God:  Me too. I am a  she.

Me:  How old is the universe?
God: under 40.
Me:  I think it's older than that.
God: Who said  it is?
Me:  Scientists say it is older than that.
God: I think  Scientists say it is a lot of things. 
Me:  The Bible says it is older than that.
God: New Testament or Old?
Me:  Both.
God: What are both like?
Me:  Crap.
God: Your criticism is noted, Sarah.

Me:  How old are you?
God: I am  Infinite years old.
Me:  What do you look like?
God: Like  Jesus, but older.
Me:  What does Jesus look like?
God: Even more attractive with age.

Me:  Christianity is evil.
God: Are they exactly the same? 
Me:  yes.
God: That's what I thought.

Me:  Have you been to Heaven?
God: I don't think I have been there. Where is  it.
Me:  I don't know.
God: Me either.
Me:  Where are you?
God: I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?

Me:  Do you fuck?
God:  Can't you think about anything else.
Me:   Nope.
God:  Me either.

Me:  Are you omniscient?
God: I don't know whether or not I am omniscient.