Fundies say the darndest things

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  "There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."

AV1611VET, Christian Forums [Comments (43)] [2006-Sep-12]

Well, he got the award for fundamentalism in a nutshell.

  "[Replying to 'as for not seeing evolution it takes several million years... incase you missed that memo...']
  several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years."

Queen of the tigers, Gaia [Comments (44)] [2006-Apr-19]

The fact that she knows nothing about evolution appears not to bother her in the least either.

  "One of the most basic laws in the universe is the Second Law of Thermodynamics. This states that as time goes by, entropy in an environment will increase. Evolution argues differently against a law that is accepted EVERYWHERE BY EVERYONE. Evolution says that we started out simple, and over time became more complex. That just isn't possible: UNLESS there is a giant outside source of energy supplying the Earth with huge amounts of energy. If there were such a source, scientists would certainly know about it."

awesomestnerd, SmashBoards [Comments (63)] [2005-Nov-07]

Yes, scientists certainly would know about it. But apparently fundies have their heads so far up their own asses that they haven't noticed the big fireball in the sky. And no, this wasn't someone just taking the piss.

  "The earth can't be billions of years old because it is slowly spinning down due to energy loss. If it was billions of years old, it would have to have been spinning at millions of miles per hour, throwing the dinosaurs that were supposed to exist then off of the earth (maybe that's why they're extinct, eh?)"

Ærik¯Thª¯Nøt¯®eD, Myspace [Comments (41)] [2006-Nov-01]

Well, I guess since the Bible doesn't mention gravity as far as I can recall, he can be forgiven for his ignorance.

  "Me and my parents have decided that I will not date. We believe in courting. Dating leads to foolish things. By courting, I mean the young man participating in outings with my family and such. Very safe places! I have decided to fully give my heart to my dad. He will be the authorty over me until my wedding day. I (with God's help) hope never to even hold hands with my future husband until my wedding day. I wear a purity ring to remind me of that daily. One day, my purity ring will be molded into my future husbands wedding band as a sign that I am fully giving my heart to him. And that is my whole heart, not a broken heart that I have waisted on other guys."

Bluegrass_Girl, Teens-4-Christ [Comments (73)] [2006-Nov-05]

Um, "fully give my heart to my dad". Ewwwww.

  "No, liberals most closely resemble fascists. I prefer freedom, something you libs hate. "

BillyBob, FSTDT Comments [Comments (44)] [2006-Nov-01]

Okaaaay. Is there a special fundy dictionary that I don't know about? Fundies seem to take words to mean the exact opposite of what they are defined to mean.

  "EVOLUTION IS NOT SCIENTIFIC. It is a theory! Notice the word THEORY... T-H-E-O-R-Y. Wiki it. It is an idea. One which breeds Atheism, is the tool of Satan and will bring about the destruction of man."

ArgoFett, Saber-Scorpion's Lair Forums [Comments (47)] [2006-Aug-02]

Was this definition taken from the special super secret fundy dictionary as well? He clearly didn't take his own advice to wiki it.

  "No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

Trinidad and Tobago, CARM [Comments (115)] [2006-Oct-01]

Everyone is born Christian. Riiight. That's why you need church, Sunday School and Jesus Camp for indoctrination. I'd love to see the polls that show atheists are a Muslim sect.

  [On the Harry Potter books]
  To suggest to any child...that there is a way to escape the unhappy, real life world they live in and to retreat into a mystical fantasy world to find happiness is totally irresponsible and deceitful."

Freedom Village USA Ministries, Reachout Trust (site) [Comments (56)] [2006-Oct-01]

Well, I'm glad they agree on that one. No, wait ... I'm catching the distinctive odour of hypocrisy.

  "I wish some other creationists would help me. The flood becomes harder and harder to support when you get more information."

Bible Defender, Christian Forums [Comments (13)] [2005-Aug-05]

This guy has to get credit for his honesty, even if sadly lacking in common sense.