Last minute assignment extensions

My students had an assignment due yesterday. They have had this assignment for 5 weeks now, and I gave them a four day extension because the due date clashed with a semester test and assignment in a course most of them were taking.

The assignment was due at 4pm yesterday, and during the day I received three requests for an extension. Posted for your enjoyment below are the student's requests and what I wish I could reply.

First request

Can I ask you a big favourite? Can I get a one day extension, because I really want to hand in my FINAL proper and smoothed performed program (which would be much easier for you to mark and test as well)? I'm not very happy with my code at the moment, and trying to figure out the best way to make it work smoothly without those low-level bugs... At 11:21am

Yes, OF COURSE you can have a favourite. There's no reason why _you _should be obliged to complete your assignment within the same timeframe as the rest of the class. And given the five weeks you've already had, I can easily understand why you haven't managed to do it already.

Second request

I'm in your class, and can I ask for a extention for assignement one? I think there are some problem with my work file, everytime I tried to open it, the Visual studio going no responce, and I'm getting so frustrated, maybe I need to do it again...

Maybe I can finishe it by end of tomorrow. At 2:48pm

I took pity on this guy, figuring maybe his project had been corrupted so I asked him to send it to me so I could fix it for him. As it turns out, there was no issue with his work file except that he hadn't done any bloody work in it yet.

Third request

Can I request for a few hours extension- I will [submit] late tonight. I will be able to finish a reasonable chunk of my assignment in these few hours, which at the moment is very much out of shape. At 3:39pm!

How perfectly sensible of you to wait until 21 minutes before the deadline and then ask for extra time. Obviously 5 weeks weren't enough but 5 weeks and a few hours will be plenty.