Mother’s Day

My family doesn't do Mother's day or Father's day. But for some reason I was thinking about my parents this morning. I realize that this sounds extremely arrogant, but I can't believe what a good job my parents did of raising my brother and sister and I :). Us kids certainly aren't perfect of course, but we have all turned out to be reasonably happy, healthy, well-adjusted, independent adults.

Obviously I realize that because my parents had a large influence on my thinking and personality, that I'm predisposed to think along similar lines to them. For example, I value independence quite highly, and the fact that do is probably because I had so much, and that is probably due to the fact that my parents valued it also.

I'd like to think I've acquired a little perspective though. The older I get the more clearly I can see some things that weren't great, and there are certainly some things I learned from them that I've rejected and ignored. But those are completely dwarfed by all the things I like about myself (and my brother and sister), and which I can see were influenced by my parents.

When I look back on my childhood, one of the things that strikes me is how much freedom we had. We roamed around the neighbourhood, rode our bikes up and down the road, went down to the shop, burrowed through the toi-toi in the empty section across the road, went swimming and surfing at the beach and climbing around the rocks.

But it wasn't the kind of freedom had by the kids whose parents just didn't give a damn. Mum and Dad had to know approximately where we were and what we were doing (e.g. which beach or which shop we were going to), and we had to be home for dinner, and in bed at a certain time and so on. We knew we were loved and cared for, and we had some clear boundaries, but we had huge freedom within those boundaries.

I'm nearly three years older than my mother was when she had me, and I have no confidence that I'd be able to bring up a kid properly. I don't have any special parenting abilities, and presumably nor did she before she had me. She made it up as she went along, and just because of the person she is, we all turned out OK.

I don't mean to give the impression that my father didn't have anything to do with it. My parents seemed to make a pretty good (and consistent) parenting team, and he's a great father.

But I am singling out my mother for special appreciation. Firstly because it's Mothers day, but secondly, because of my father's job, she was on her own half the time, and with no family nearby. I can't even begin to express how much respect I have for my mother to do such a great job raising us in those circumstances. I just really hope someday I'm half the Mum she was.