I know you are all in awe of my mad procrastination skillz (go on, admit it!). Well, now you too can learn this amazing ability in the comfort and privacy of your own home!! Introducing the revolutionary new Complete Procrastination Flowchart System (patent pending), specially formulated for daily use! All you have to do is follow these quick, easy steps and in just 12 hours a day you too can be transformed into a procrastinator*.

The 2008 Ig Nobel Awards have been announced. These awards are given to research "that cannot, or should not, be reproduced." Some of my favourites from previous years include research into curing hiccups through "digital rectal massage", research into the brain activity of a locust watching Star Wars, testing whether we swim slower in syrup or water, and an investigation into the validity of the 5 second rule for food dropped on the floor.