Survivor

Our department is undergoing restructuring. The University is going to make about one third of the staff redundant. I won't rant on the fact that many people in the department think the University's official rationale for the restructuring is unjust; it is going to happen regardless because they need the money for other things.

This week, we all had to essentially reapply for our own jobs. We had to submit a package of information that the selection committee will look at when they decide who stays and who goes. This includes a description of pretty much everything we have done (teaching, research and service) since 2000.

The structure they have given us to provide this information is itself pretty stupid.

Section 1 of the document is a CV, the divisions of which duplicate Sections 3, 5, 6 & 7.

Section 8 of the document requires us to copy in all our performance reviews, which essentially duplicates everything called for in Sections 3, 5, 6 & 7. Never mind the fact that they already have all our performance reviews on file.

Section 9 calls for anything else we want to submit, and the fact that I can't think of anything to put here just makes me nervous that I've missed something.

We have no guidance at all apart from the section titles and a few subsections suggestions. I have no clue how much detail I was supposed to include. My document ended up 9 pages, and I've no idea whether this is far too much or far too little.

Anyway, to take my mind off things, I came up with this:

Imagine the HOD's voice saying "The tribe has spoken" as the person begins the long walk down the corridor.